Finding My Way To A Healthy Kinda Love!



When we speak of transformation, the caterpillar's analogy, which turns into the butterfly, is often used. The butterfly is praised and admired for all its beauty and ability to fly, but I would argue that the real hero is the caterpillar. Each time the caterpillar grows during the metamorphosis process, it sheds its skin until it reaches its full size. It then forms a pupa (chrysalis), and every aspect of the caterpillar changes; this is hard, and I’d imagine painful work.


I liken the period of quarantine to the chrysalis. The restrictions limit our socialization and make many very uncomfortable with the time we find alone or the constant contact with our families. We have come face to face with our life choices.


Do you like what you see?


Personally, I removed the rose-coloured glasses on some problematic aspects of my life. I was exhausting all my distractions, and being single brought about feelings of extreme loneliness, Forcing me to look at my choices and figure out how I got to this point in my personal life. In doing so, I was compelled to focus on my relationships with men, not only the romantic ones but the men in my life who had the most significant impact. I don't think I was fully prepared for the revelations.


One of the relationships that needed re-examining was with my Uncle Greg. I never gave it much thought. I dismissed him as my mother’s grumpy, cheap brother, but in retrospect, I realized that he was a consistent male role model in my life. We lived with him on more than one occasion; we spent most holidays with him and his family. He essentially was the relative that was physically the closest to us. Unfortunately, he also inflicted the most damage. Now that I am an adult and have a deeper understanding, I was shook as I relived these defining moments.


A girl child ain't safe in a family of men.- Colour Purple.


My uncle