Finding Self-Love in Istanbul: My Very Own Turkish Delight

Janine Bowen
Jul 28
5 min read

Updated: Aug 26

When the Journey Within Mirrors the Journey Without

A reflection on transformation, self-compassion, and the unexpected lessons found in the most challenging moments

Sometimes the trips we think will restore us become the very experiences that reveal what we most need to heal. My recent journey to Istanbul was meant to be an escape—a chance to immerse myself in rich culture, breathtaking history, and the kind of adventure that feeds the soul. Instead, it became something far more valuable: a mirror reflecting back the inner work I still needed to do.

When Stress Becomes Your Travel Companion

The circumstances leading up to my departure were anything but peaceful. Stress had woven itself into every aspect of my preparation, and despite my hopes that stepping onto that plane would somehow leave it all behind, I quickly realized that our inner chaos doesn't respect geographical boundaries. The weight I carried in my chest didn't lighten with the change of scenery—it simply found new ways to express itself in an unfamiliar place.

Istanbul, with its magnificent chaos, its bustling streets, and its beautiful complexity, suddenly felt overwhelming rather than inspiring. The very energy that makes this city so alive—the constant movement, the layers of sound, the rich tapestry of humanity—began to feel like an external manifestation of my internal storm. Instead of finding peace in exploration, I found myself battling exhaustion and mental conflict at every turn.

Finding Grace in the Call to Prayer

But then something beautiful happened. Five times a day, the call to prayer would echo across the city, and in those moments, something shifted. Not just in the city around me, but within me. There would be this microsecond of silence—a collective pause that seemed to quiet not just the bustling streets, but the noise in my mind as well.

In those brief moments, I found my saving grace. The call to prayer became my invitation to ground myself, to breathe, to remember that even in chaos, there are moments of stillness available to us if we're willing to receive them. It wasn't about the religious significance for me—it was about the universal human need for pause, for reflection, for coming back to center.

Each day, I began to anticipate these moments. They became my anchors in a sea of internal turbulence, reminding me that peace isn't something we find in perfect circumstances—it's something we cultivate within ourselves, even when everything around us feels chaotic.

The Greatest Lesson: Self-Love is a Daily Practice

As I reflect on this journey now, I realize that Istanbul gave me exactly what I needed, just not in the way I expected. The greatest takeaway wasn't about Turkish culture or historical landmarks—it was about self-love, and what that truly looks like in practice.

Self-love isn't just a feeling or a concept we embrace intellectually. It's a series of everyday actions that demonstrate care for our physical and mental well-being.

It's choosing to rest when your body is exhausted, even when you feel like you "should" be exploring every corner of an incredible city. It's honouring your emotional needs without judgment, recognizing that sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is acknowledge that you're struggling.

Self-love is centring yourself and your needs, not as an act of selfishness, but as an act of wisdom.

It's understanding that you can't pour from an empty cup, and that taking care of yourself isn't just beneficial for you—it's essential for everyone you serve and support. In my work with HER COLLECTED, I guide women toward purposeful living, but this trip reminded me that purpose without self-care is unsustainable.

Most importantly, self-love is the way you speak to yourself, especially in moments of difficulty.

This was my greatest revelation. As I navigated the challenging emotions of that trip, I became acutely aware of my internal dialogue. Was I berating myself for not enjoying the experience more? Was I judging myself for feeling overwhelmed? Or was I offering myself the same compassion I would give to a dear friend going through a difficult time?

The journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth isn't always pretty. It doesn't always happen in Instagram-worthy moments or picture-perfect settings. Sometimes it happens in a hotel room in Istanbul when you're too exhausted to explore, and you finally give yourself permission to just be where you are without apology.

The Unexpected Teachers: Istanbul's Four-Legged Friends

The city's stray cats were a source of joy that I didn’t expect —beautiful, confident creatures who seemed to embody a kind of peace I was desperately seeking. These weren't abandoned animals living in fear; they were integral members of the community, cared for with a tenderness that spoke to something deeper about Turkish culture.

I watched in wonder as shopkeepers left out bowls of food and water, as men gently picked them up for a little snuggle, as entire neighbourhoods collectively embraced these animals as their own. The cats moved through the streets with grace and confidence that at times I envied—they belonged, they were loved, and they seemed to know it.

In moments when my internal chaos felt overwhelming, I found myself drawn to these serene creatures. There was something healing about watching them exist so peacefully in the midst of the city's energy. They reminded me of the beauty that exists when we allow ourselves to simply be—when we accept care from our community and trust that we belong exactly where we are.

The way Istanbul embraces its stray cats revealed something beautiful about collective compassion and community care. It showed me what it looks like when love is expressed not through grand gestures, but through daily, consistent acts of kindness. These cats weren't just surviving—they were thriving because an entire culture had decided they mattered.

Redefining Success

This experience taught me to redefine what a successful trip—or a successful life—actually looks like. Success isn't always about checking off every item on your itinerary or pushing through regardless of how you feel. Sometimes success is listening to your body, honouring your emotional state, and choosing self-compassion over self-criticism.

The woman who returned from Istanbul wasn't the same one who left. Not because I conquered the city or had some dramatic breakthrough, but because I learned to be gentler with myself in moments of struggle. I learned that self-love isn't a destination—it's a daily practice of small, consistent choices that honour who we are and what we need.

Your Journey of Self-Discovery

As I share this story with you, I'm reminded that we're all on this journey together. Whether you're navigating stress in your own life, struggling with self-compassion, or simply trying to figure out what self-love looks like in practice, know that you're not alone.

The path to purposeful living isn't always smooth, and that's not just okay—it's human. The moments when we feel most challenged are often the moments when we have the greatest opportunity for growth, if we're willing to approach ourselves with kindness rather than criticism.

What would change in your life if you spoke to yourself with the same love and encouragement you offer to others? What would shift if you made self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine? What might be possible if you allowed yourself to be imperfect while still being worthy of love and respect?

These are the questions that Istanbul left me with, and they're the questions I invite you to explore in your own journey of becoming.

At HERCOLLECTED, we believe that every experience—even the challenging ones—has something valuable to teach us about living with purpose and intention. Your story of growth matters, and your journey toward self-love is worth celebrating, one small step at a time.