From Vacation Lessons to Everyday ACTS OF Love: Making Self-Care an Active Practice

Janine Bowen
Aug 5
5 min read

Updated: Sep 1

My journey to Istanbul taught me something profound: self-love isn't a feeling we stumble upon—it's work we actively choose to do- Every. Single.Day. Just as those beautiful stray cats in Istanbul didn't survive and thrive by accident, but because an entire community made the daily choice to care for them, our well-being requires the same intentional, consistent action.

The Truth About Self-Love: It's Active, Not Passive

Here's what I learned in those overwhelming moments, and what I've been practicing ever since: love is a verb, not just a noun. Self-love isn't about waiting to feel worthy—it's about acting worthy, even when you don't feel it yet.

When I watched those Turkish shopkeepers consistently leave out food and water for the cats, I witnessed love in action. They didn't wait to feel motivated or inspired. They simply showed up, day after day, with small acts of care that created profound transformation.

This is the blueprint you need for yourself.

The Daily Architecture of Self-Love

Morning Foundation: The 3-Minute Reset

Every morning, I now start with what I call my "calling in moment"—three minutes of intentional grounding, inspired by those calls to prayer that saved me. This isn't about perfection; it's about actively choosing to center myself before the day begins.

Your Blueprint:

Collect your breath (3 deep inhales)
Elevate your intention (ask: "How will I care for myself today?")
Celebrate your commitment (acknowledge that choosing self-care is brave)

The Vacation Mindset: Treating Yourself like every day is a vacation day

Since returning from vacation, I've been treating my everyday life like I'm on vacation. This means actively creating experiences that nourish rather than deplete me.

What This Looks Like in Practice:

The Tourist in Your Own Life Approach Last weekend, I spent an afternoon exploring neighbourhoods I haven't visited in years: Chinatown, Kensington Market, St. Lawrence Market and The Distillery. I walked slowly, noticed the architecture, stopped at a café I'd never tried and discovered a gallery tucked away on route. It cost me nothing but time, yet I felt as refreshed as if I'd taken a weekend getaway. The difference? I actively chose to see my ordinary day through curious eyes.

Intentional Rest as Revolutionary Act Holiday Monday was my "courtyard vacation day." I made my favourite tea, grabbed the book that's been sitting on my nightstand for months, and gave myself permission to do nothing "productive" for two hours. The key: I actively protected this time by putting my phone in another room, and treated this rest like the important appointment it was.

The Power of Intentional Disconnection. Every day, I have my own call to prayer. I actively choose to turn off notifications, put devices away, and create space for my mind to rest. This isn't happening by accident; it's a deliberate practice of self-love.

The Science Behind Active Self-Love

With over 30 years of experience helping people, I've learned that transformation happens when we stop waiting for inspiration and start building systems. Research shows that when we actively engage in self-care practices—even when we don't feel like it—we literally rewire our brains for well-being.

The HER COLLECTED Framework for Active Self-Love:

COLLECT Your Non-Negotiables

Identify 1-3 daily practices that you commit to, regardless of how you feel:

Morning grounding moment
One act of physical care (movement, nutrition, rest)
Evening reflection
Boundary protection
Compassionate self-talk

ELEVATE Your Standards

Stop accepting "good enough" when it comes to how you treat yourself. You wouldn't let a friend skip meals, ignore their needs, or speak to themselves crazy—so don't accept this from yourself either.

CELEBRATE Small Acts of Love

Every time you choose self-care over self-neglect, acknowledge it. This isn't indulgence; it's reinforcement of the behaviour you want to continue.

Overcoming the "I Don't Feel Like It" Barrier

Here's the truth that Istanbul taught me: the moments when you least feel like practicing self-love are exactly when you need it most. Just like those cats didn't only get fed when the shopkeepers felt generous—they were cared for consistently, regardless of mood or circumstance.

Your Action Plan for Resistant Days:

Start Micro: Can't do a full self-care routine? Do one minute of deep breathing.
Use the 2-Minute Rule: Commit to just two minutes of the practice. Often, you'll continue once you start.
Remember Your Why: Connect back to how you want to feel and who you want to become.
Get Support: Just as Istanbul's cats had a whole community caring for them, build your own support network.

The Ripple Effect: How Your Active Self-Love Transforms Everything

When you actively practice self-love, you're not just changing your own life—you're modelling for every woman around you that she too deserves care, attention, and respect. Your consistent self-care becomes permission for others to prioritize their well-being.

In my work with HER COLLECTED, I've seen this transformation countless times. When one woman in our community starts actively choosing herself, it creates a ripple effect that elevates everyone.

Your 30-Day Active Self-Love Challenge

Week 1: Foundation Building

Establish your morning 3-minute reset
Identify your 3 non-negotiable daily self-care acts
Practice the "tourist in your own life" mindset for 20 minutes daily

Week 2: Boundary Strengthening

Actively protect one hour each day for yourself
Practice saying "no" to requests that drain your energy
Create your weekly "vacation day" at home

Week 3: Community and Connection

Share your self-love journey with a trusted friend
Actively seek support when you need it
Practice receiving care from others without guilt

Week 4: Integration and Celebration

Reflect on how active self-love has changed your daily experience
Identify which practices you want to continue
Celebrate your commitment to this work

The Truth About Self-Love Work

Self-love isn't always comfortable. It requires us to actively choose ourselves even when it feels selfish, to consistently show up for our needs even when it's inconvenient, and to deliberately practice compassion even when our inner critic is loud.

But here's what I know after Istanbul, after 25 years of coaching women, and after building HER Collected: the work is worth it. Every small act of self-love, every moment you choose care over criticism, every time you actively prioritize your well-being—it all adds up to a life lived with intention and purpose.

Your Next Step

Active self-love starts with one choice, right now. Not tomorrow, not when you feel ready, not when life gets less busy. Today.

What's one way you'll actively love yourself in the next 24 hours? Will you take that walk you've been postponing? Will you actively protect your evening routine? Will you speak to yourself with the same kindness you'd show a dear friend?

Ready to make self-love an active practice in your life? Join our Blueprint & Bloom community where ambitious women are actively choosing to rewrite their stories and design lives they love. Because self-love isn't something that happens to you—it's something you actively create, one intentional choice at a time.

Drop a 💪 in the comments if you're ready to make self-love an active practice, and tell us: What's one way you'll actively choose yourself today?